Hearsay: Wednesday, November 19, 2003
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Alan: Have Muscle, Will Kick Large Ass

Weekly reporter-at-large Ken Shimamoto found himself in the Wreck Room last weekend, taking in KTCU’s “Good Show” show and trying to pick his jaw up off the floor at the sight and sound of what could be called a new and improved version of the rock outfit Alan. Appears that Chris Hardee and his brothers in progressive-yet-soulful rock have taken on a new rhythm section of David Young on bass and Jeff Lowe on drums and are now — to borrow a Blender aphorism — rawking harder than ever, dude! And while Shimamoto and HearSay agree that extreme emotional intensity was always a part of Alan’s bit, we both concluded (over tea, of course) that an iteration of Alan in monster-truck gear is like one of those things you never know is missing from your life — until this thing rears its glorious head. (Like the first time you dipped a slice of pizza in ranch dressing: Pizza by itself had been great all those years, ya know? But now pizza with ranch? You’re living large.) The band is gigging steadily and is in the middle of recording a full-length, The Universal Answer is Both, while pushing a new three-song e.p. that’s available at www.mp3.com/alanmusic. Catch Alan Saturday at the Moon, giving a full-band acoustic performance. In the words of Long-Island-born-and-bred paisan-by-proxy Shimamoto: You won’t be highly displeased.

Six Flags Over Satan

What is it about the Metroplex that gives pop-rock casualties of yesteryear that convalescent-home feel? Look at all the grandees who call North Texas home: Johnny Nitzinger (Alice Cooper, Nitzinger), B.J. Thomas (“Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head”), Bill Ham (ZZ Top), Stephen Bruton (Kris Kristofferson’s band), Manny Charlton (Nazareth). Now this swath of land reportedly surrounds the bambino of Beelzebub himself, King Diamond, who recently chose to preside over his minions from a throne in Arlington, a town that’s actually a pretty close approximation of Hades if ever there was one. (When your “skyline” consists of rollercoaster pinnacles and The Superman Tower of Power, you’re not exactly living in Utopia, jack.) Must be something in the water here.

So the same guy who painted his face à la Gene Simmons and sang about hookers hookin’ up with priests and embryos ablaze and mothers who use wheelchairs for sympathy (unlike SCTV’s Guy Caballero, who used a wheelchair “for respect”), King Diamond is now fretting over the health of his lawn and whether a satellite dish is a good investment — who’d a thunk it? (Never thought I’d say this, but ...) local artist King Diamond will be casting spells this Friday, with Entombed and HavocHate, at the Ridglea. See him now and say you knew him when hell froze over.

Oops, Almost Forgot!

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. There.

Contact HearSay at hearsay@fwweekly.com.

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