Last Call: Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Bellbottoms Bar
and Grill 8407 Grapevine Hwy, North Richland Hills. 817-427-3482.
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Rock Bottom

Some guys prefer Playboy magazine. They want full disclosure. Other dudes go for Maxim, not because they don’t wanna see the plain view but because maybe they know that a little taste is often just as good.
These are the types of guys who likely eschew the local strip clubs in favor of bikini contests, those will-they-ever-die parties that take place mainly in sports bars around town. Trying to get in on some of the bikini-night action and promising lots of skin and sexual innuendo, Bellbottoms Bar & Grill held a “Funny Undies Contest” this past week.
The masses thronged. More than 450 people, according to one Bellbottoms bouncer, walked through the club’s double doors between 9 and midnight. (Not shabby, by any means.) Most of the attendees were, of course, male, and most wore an impish, shit-eating grin — naturally.
The DJ kept saying something about girls “getting naked, showing panties, bras, taking off whatever they want, doing whatever they want.” The music kept bumping and grinding, courtesy of the likes of 2 Live Crew (“Me So Horny”), Salt-N-Pepa (“Push It”), and Prince (“Pussy Control”). The thought that something might happen kept everyone in their seats.
Hours went by.
Nada.
Yours truly gave up at 1 a.m. Apparently, according to the DJ, not enough ladies had signed up. Signed up? So Bellbottoms didn’t have any professionals on standby, ready to — as they say — get the party started? Unfortunately, no.
So here’s a little lesson in marketing 101, Mr. and Mrs. Bellbottoms: When your club pairs the words “funny undies” and “contest” in the same advertising campaign, don’t expect a lot of women to show and/or sign up. And hire some help, will ya? The “contestants” in some of town’s more popular bikini contests aren’t exactly off the turnip truck, if you know what I mean.

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