Static: Wednesday, May 8, 2003
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Suggestion Box

Wanted: verbs. Even better: good ideas. Please send to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram’s Life & Arts section. Contributions will be mocked and thrown out, but send them anyway.

Cereal — hey, that not-new breakfast thing! Lizards — whoo, there’s several kinds, in different colors! Yep, those were two of the meaty, controversial, groundbreaking topics tackled by recent Life & Arts cover “stories” (if you can call an assemblage of tidbits from encyclopedias, press releases, and the backs of cereal boxes a story) in recent weeks.

The low point, though, had to be the May 5 cover. In dramatic white-on-black reverse, it asked S-T readers to choose “Mr. Personality” from among various local bachelors wearing masks. The L & A logo should be a limbo dancer, with the motto, “However low tv can go, we can go lower!”

Here’s an idea: Grind up the cereal boxes, feed them to the lizard, and place the critter on a copy of the Life & Arts cover. Whichever bachelor the lizard pukes on is the winner. We predict findings of zero nutritional and below-zero news value.

Suggestion for next week’s cover: Concrete — how hard is it?

More Breaking News

In further S-T news, Static should note that, on the same day an item appeared in this space taking the daily to task for ignoring the controversies surrounding DynCorp, the Star-T indeed ran a story about the local corporation that supplies civilian workers for many U.S. and U.N. overseas missions. (The Static item did not appear on our web site until the following day, causing confusion for those who saw the S-T story first.)

We hereby applaud the Star-Telegram for finally making note — only two years late — of the fact that DynCorp has been accused of firing whistleblowers who tried to get the company to do something about its employees in Bosnia who were buying young women as sex slaves. (The company downplayed the accusations but has paid out two settlements to those whistleblowers.) The information was buried in the final paragraphs of a front-page story about DynCorp getting yet another overseas contract from the U.S. government. The story included the State Department’s assurance that steps had been taken to make sure the human rights violations won’t happen again. Static feels so much better. But we’re not sure Iraqi women should.


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