FREE WILL ASTROLOGY: Wednesday, December 19, 2002

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I predict that you will be more light-hearted about love in 2003. I see you taking yourself less seriously as you seek riper versions of romance and intimacy, spiced with more humor. My suggestions about holiday gifts you should give yourself: a bumper sticker that reads, “I am no longer looking for the perfect partner. I am my own perfect partner;” Steve Penny’s booklet, “How To Have Great Laughing Sex;” and white boxers or silk panties on which you’ve written a goofy prayer or love spell.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Happy Holy Daze, Taurus. I predict that you will be getting to the bottom of everything in 2003. I see you exploring mysteries that were previously off-limits to your conscious awareness. I see you building a rock-solid foundation that will serve you for years to come. Though this work will be richly rewarding, it may tend to be invisible to other people. To aid you in this, a great holiday gift would be a magical communication device to allow you to express to your loved ones exactly what you need.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I predict that you will be grounded and tough-minded in 2003, with the power to walk into any room and establish yourself as a weighty presence; I imagine you cultivating piercing gazes and commanding tones of voice to deal with intense situations. In meditating on a symbolic holiday gift to further these developments, I’ve decided on a pair of sharkskin shoes. If none of your allies has the foresight to buy you this boon, get it for yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Happy Holy Daze, Cancerian! What holiday gifts might inspire you to align with the cosmic currents in 2003? Here are two ideas: horseback-riding lessons and your very own horse. With the psychological mastery and physical courage you’d build by blending your energy with that of a large, robust animal, you’d enhance your personal power in just the right way to meet the earthy tests of the coming months. You’d develop an instinct to conquer the fears that have the greatest potential to trip you up, and you’d always know how to rein in your raw energy so as to expand your command.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Leo! I’ve been meditating on what holiday gifts might encourage you to capitalize on your astrological opportunities in 2003. I’m certain they don’t include a $4,000 tv or a lime-green BMW. While such expensive treasures might temporarily boost your mood and stature, they’re not the kind of educational excitement you really need. Here, then, are the types of gifts I hope you’ll ask for or give yourself: a trip to a storytelling festival at a desert oasis outside of Marrakesh, Morocco; a workshop to enhance your relationship skills; a pilgrimage to the holy places of your ancestors; audio books to sharpen your mind during your commute.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Virgo! Don’t be disappointed, but when I meditate on the perfect holiday gift to align you with 2003’s cosmic currents, I get a recurring vision of cheap gag gifts like whoopee cushions, fake ice cubes containing plastic flies, metal “peanut” cans that erupt with spring-loaded toy snakes when opened, and pencil sharpeners shaped like a human nose. Why these? It’s would help if these things liberated your inner child in the coming months, but I’m more interested in inspiring you to become more mischievous and less literal. You’ll be amazed at how much your chances for success will improve if you don’t follow the rules quite so strictly.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Holy Daze, Libra! What could you do to make yourself more swashbuckling in 2003? What new influences will encourage you to leap into the surprising adventures that will come along in the next few months? Holiday gifts that will inspire you in this direction might be a scale model of a pirate ship for your home altar, or maybe a sword-and-sorcery role-playing game like Dungeons and Dragons. The best gift of all might be a posable action figure made in your image. Think you can swing that?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift to align you with the cosmic currents in 2003. Here?s what I’d give you if I could: your own personal flag, with a design symbolizing your growing authority; a coat of arms that honors both your ancestral past and the unique style with which you’re transcending it; a constitution or mission statement embodying your highest ideals; and a scepter, crown, or throne that make you feel like the royal ruler of a thriving domain.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! What would be the perfect holiday to inspire you to make best use of the coming astrological opportunities? Here’s one idea: the entire costume collection of a defunct theater company. With your closet full of exotic and dramatic new choices, you could dress up in a variety of roles without becoming attached to any of them. And that, in my opinion, would be just what the soul doctor ordered for you to achieve prime psychological health during the Great Experiment that will unfold in 2003.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift to bring you into the closest alignment with 2003’s cosmic currents. My ideas: a weathervane in the form of a solid-gold eagle. With that as your guiding image, you’d never forget how valuable it is to know which way the wind is blowing. Shifting winds — and moods — will sweep through your environment frequently in the coming months. You should continually survey the swirling patterns from above, like an eagle in hunting mode, ready to descend and pounce when your mood comes into sync with the changing trends.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius! Usually I encourage you to keep cultivating the broad-minded, visionary viewpoints that come so naturally to you. In 2003, in addition to that, I urge you to bolster your mastery of detail. To help you remember to think small as often as you think big, I suggest you ask for one of these symbolic gifts this season: a magnifying glass, a microscope, a map of the human genome, or the video called “Powers of Ten,” which shows images ranging from the Milky Way Galaxy to the nucleus of a carbon atom.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I think it will be crucial for you to take matters into your own hands in 2003. You should constantly ask yourself, “What will inspire me not to depend on the so-called experts?” and “What will ensure that I never just sit around waiting for lucky breaks to provide my momentum?” My suggestion for a holiday gift for you: a do-it-yourself kit that suits your specific field of endeavor; something that helps you set up your own corporation, for instance, or create your own rituals, or turn your brainstorm into a salable product, or make your own compost bin or hot tub or pleasure cruiser.

Homework: I’ve given you my ideas of what holiday gifts would suit you best and thrill you most. What do YOU think about the subject? Write: www.freewillastrology.

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