Static: Wednesday, April 20, 2005
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Do Unto Udders

Fort Worth Star-Tell-It-On-The Mountain-gram featured a Monday article about a Christian ministry at Texas Motor Speedway during NASCAR events. The church services must be helping — brotherly love and acceptance is on the rise at the redneck fest. For years, Static has attended TMS races and made an informal count in the immediate vicinity of its camp spot — the number of Confederate flags versus black people. First year, two blacks and 22 Confederate flags. This year, eight blacks and 12 flags. Then, the ultimate religious symbol to NASCAR campground hillbillies — a replica of the General Lee, a Dodge Charger with a painted Confederate flag made famous on The Dukes of Hazzard — cruised by playing “Dixie” on its horn. Atop the hood were two Tarrant duchesses with breasts a-flashing. The gone-wild girls looked more closely related to Boss Hogg than to Daisy Duke, but the crowd hooted in appreciation, their kind generosity surely motivated by the ministry in their midst.

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