Last Call: Friday, September 29, 2004
Down on (North) Main Street ...

There are parts of Cowtown that don’t seem like they belong here, like those little nooks in the North Side that resemble Mexico City or those pockets in the South Side that scream “San Francisco.” Add to this short list the neighborhood on the other side of the Paddock Street Viaduct from downtown. While this area may be walking distance from the Tarrant County Courthouse, it seems as if it’s on the other side of the planet once you spend some time there.

Not quite North Side, not quite downtown, this ’hood could be called a no-man’s land — except for the fact that there are probably plenty o’ men around. Think of this as Last Call’s way of saying, “What happens on the other side of the PSV, stays on the other side of the PSV.”

One little no-tell outlet is Xache’t Xotic. Now if you’ve always wondered what goes on inside its four walls, take it from Last Call — not bar mitzvahs. More like totally nude modeling shows. “You can make yourself very comfortable,” Xache’t’s Raquel said recently in her sexiest purr. “The girl is very comfortable in her show. There is touching, and I’m a lot of fun.”

The starting fare is $100 for a half-hour performance. Throw in another $50 and you get a ticket to the “Domination Dungeon.” For $200, it’s your choice of bubble bath or shower. The place is open ’til 1am Sun-Thu, ’til 2am Fri-Sat, and it’s BYOB.

If Xache’t Xotic is Vegas, then Body Sensations is Atlantic City. While this BYOB place doesn’t call itself an S.O.B. (“sexually oriented business”) and employees claim that the only goings-on inside the bright blue Kleenex box are late-night massages (’til 3am on weekends), receptionist Amanda says that the girls “do accept tips” — if you know what I mean.

Rates are $60 for half-hour massage, $100 for a 45-minute shower, $125 for a “jet tub/rub-down.” Calgon, take me away, indeed. ...

So let’s say that by some wild circumstance you do happen to make it out of the PSV area and into North Side: Do yourself a favor and chill for a bit at The Hookah Lounge. Up until three months ago, this bar/nightclub was where Byblos Lebanese Restaurant stored its unmentionables. Now it’s a virtual tour of the prison from Midnight Express (minus the lobotomized inmates) — massive walls of exposed brick, low seats, misty lighting. But instead of being under the watch of way-cruel guards, you — like Last Call and pals on a recent visit — will likely find yourself treated like royalty by way-polite servers who keep their eyes on every party for empty glasses and dirty plates.

So what of the toking? A rum-spiked hookah accompanied by peach-flavored tobacco will run you a mere $20, not to mention that it’ll make you and your friends reek of Jolly Ranchers. It’s all as close as one can get to the Zen Room from Rocky Horror without worrying about getting busted for slingin’ dem packets. The entire experience made this stoner-in-denial wanna score some real weed.

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