Astrology: Wednesday, August 27, 2008

ARIES (March 21-April 19): My Aries friend David’s acupuncturist diagnosed his current condition as an “encroachment of phlegm in his triple heater.” That’s also an apt metaphorical deDELETEion of what’s going on in your psyche. Your internal engine — the fire in your belly — is a bit clogged by a sluggish stream of swampy, snotty feelings. A good way to purge this creeping effluvia is what Gestalt dream workers do: Imagine that the effluvia can speak, and ask it to tell you what it wants.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Borrowing some words of poet Eliza Acton and mixing them with mine, I’ve prepared a love note for you to use as your own. Feel free to give these words to the person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely with yours. “I love you as a glad bird loves the freedom of its wings. I love you as I love the first lily of spring exploding with clear fragrance in the moonlight. I love you as I love the swell and hush of a low melody that brings the past to life again. I love you as I love the tone of a soft-breathing dawn whose soul has awaken for me alone.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Greek mythology, the Procrustean bed was a torture device. Anyone foolish enough to lie down on it would be forcibly modified to fit its exact dimensions. A person who was smaller than the bed would be painfully stretched; those who were too big would have their body parts amputated. Please don’t climb into any situation that resembles that bed, Gemini. You need an adaptable niche that will adjust to your unique needs and talents.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Dear Rob: I recently discovered your column, and I like it. But am I’m approaching it the right way? Although I’m a Crab, all 12 of your horoscopes make sense to me and describe how I feel. - Curious in Austin.” Dear Curious: You Cancerians are very versatile and empathetic these days. So you have my blessing to glean useful information from the horoscopes for all of the signs. This phenomenon will probably run its course by September 23, and after that you may find that only the Cancer horoscope really works for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I’m not so interested in predicting the future as I am in creating it. Why worry about how things will turn out when you can devote your energy to making things turn out the way you want? It’s true that I speculate about what may be coming. But my purpose is to describe favorable scenarios that you can use your willpower to manifest. Right now, for instance, I won’t prophesy, “You may soon be blessed with a valuable new resource.” I’ll say, “Get out there, Leo, and acquire a tool or fuel or asset that will help you become more practical about fulfilling one of your dreams.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I have dreamed in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas,” wrote Emily Bronte in Wuthering Heights. “They have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.” One of your main assignments in the coming week, Virgo, is to identify a dream that can work that kind of magic on you. If there is no such dream now seeded in your imagination, find a new one to plant there.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The apocalypse won’t be all that bad,” Bible scholar Parker Creaston told the Weekly World News. There’ll be a “brief period of mild to moderate disorder,” after which will come an extended period of “worldwide peace and harmony.” Similarly, Libra, your fear of impending chaos in your personal sphere will turn out to be overblown. You may suffer temporary shortages and inconveniences, as well as what we might call a metaphorical “traffic jam.” But the mountains of fire, seas of blood, and hordes of locusts will definitely not be showing up.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’ve reached a phase when you have special power to expand, deepen, and enhance your web of allies. My advice? Don’t just schmooze and party, but rather schmooze and party with an evangelical sense of purpose, taking advantage of the fact that people are more likely than usual to be sympathetic to your cause and lend you their support. The connections you forge and the synergetic collaborations you ignite in the next three weeks could be major factors in your success in 2009.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to the Guinness web site, the world record for opera singers receiving curtain calls is Luciano Pavarotti, who got 165 after his 1988 show at the Deutsche Opera in Berlin. If that mark is ever broken, it may soon be accomplished by a Sagittarian performer. That’s because you people will be at the peak of your potential to garner acknowledgement, recognition, and rewards in your chosen field. To take advantage of that potential: Imagine a higher, finer level of excellence beyond what you’ve understood as excellence up until now. Then figure out what you’d have to do to rise to that higher, finer level.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Charles Baudelaire, translated by Louis Simpson: “Ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking . . . ask what time it is, and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: ‘It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish.’ ” It is a perfect time to draw inspiration from that counsel. In addition, consider trying anything that might work to achieve the desired exaltation, like meditation, dancing, sex, dreamwork, or a vision quest.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Thanks for the entertainment you’ve provided so far in 2008, Aquarius. You’ve sent a nagging demon packing and corrected a kink in your integrity. You’ve paid off a load of karmic debt left over from the old days and have even begun to dissolve an outdated psychosexual imprint. But I’d like you to make more progress on tempering your obsessive side. See what you can do to convert it from a part-time liability into a full-time asset.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The real secret of magic is that the world is made of words,” said Terence McKenna, “and that if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish.” I’d even say that you can shape your world through your use of language. If you really want to live amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense, then speak with unconscious carelessness. Or would you prefer to live in a realm rich with meaning and beauty and interesting mystery? Then be discerning and creative in how you speak, primed to name the novel truths always being born before your eyes. You always have the power, but right now is a potential turning point when you could form good new habits.

Homework: Find out what you’ve been hiding from yourself — but be kind about it. Testify at

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